I was told by one of my friends today that some people here at school find me “intense,” and “intimidating.”
Pardon me while I laugh hysterically.
I’ve gotten that characterization before, and it never fails to amuse me. Anyone who knows me knows what an insecure, nervous wreck I am: this blog itself is evidence enough of that. And that’s supposed to be intimidating?
I think what people are referring to is my comparative lack of social graces, and subsequent preference for staying quiet and silent. I’m just not very good at making small talk (a useful trait for an aspiring lawyer to have, I know), and so it’s just easier to keep my inane thoughts and anxieties to myself, and speak as little as possible. In some ways, it hearkens back to the old adage: “It is better to remain silent and be thought a fool than speak and remove all doubt.” I think that’s what’s going on here. People see me staying quiet and believe I’m deep in thought or something, when in reality I just have no idea what to say. I have yet to remove all doubt.
The aforementioned friend brought up an observation by way of justification. The morning of the Oral Advocacy competition, she saw me sitting alone in the Commons, staring at my laptop screen with apparent concentration. She decided not to come near me, thinking “He looks like he’s preparing to destroy somebody. I’m not going near him today.” Obviously, the truth was far different. What was I actually doing? Frantically writing my Negative position, since I had neglected to do it the night before.
Yup. Intimidating am I.