I didn’t do as well on my Contracts exam as I would have liked, and ended up with a B in the class; a disappointing finish to what remains my favorite class thus far. And, frankly, it is no consolation (as I imagine it is for many of my colleagues) to know that the large majority of us get B’s. I want, and expect, more of myself, and it is difficult to avoid feeling frustrated and disappointed and angry that my performance just couldn’t match my own demands and goals.
All semester (and even again just this morning) we have been told that a B is a good grade at a school like Michigan, that it is nothing to be upset about, that it’ll be ok. Of course, with my temperament and personality, all that does is make me feel a little bit worse for being so disappointed with a B. I know I need to work harder, and evidently I need to adjust the way I prepare for these exams, but there’s also a part of me that is just wondering if I can pull off A’s in a group this talented and intelligent. This is the most successful, brilliant group of students (as a whole) that I’ve ever been a part of, and it’s both refreshing and terrifying to find that I don’t match up.
I’m getting old. 30 is a tough age; I already feel like concentration is, at times, a bit harder than it used to be (though that could be a function more of how many more distractions I have these days than the onset of dementia). I’ve started playing basketball again, and my entire body is sore and bruised. While both getting back on the court and going to law school is fun, I’m feeling rather battered in body and mind at the moment.
Let’s hope the Niners can cheer up my mood with a win Sunday and a trip to the Super Bowl.