Here Goes Nothing

It all begins tomorrow.

The first of many, many final exams that will do all they can to convince me that my self-worth is measured in the difference between an A and a B. A scant 3 hours that will be spent in a room freaking out with at least 50 other people also freaking out, and trying as hard as I can not to let the atmosphere and tension get to me.

I haven’t studied as hard as some of my classmates. I haven’t spent the same amount of hours in the library as they have. I haven’t written notes as detailed as some of my other classmates. I haven’t spent all semester reviewing practice exams, or looking at the websites of other law schools for exams administered by my professors before they came to Michigan. I’m not as smart as some of my colleagues. I’m not as clear on the black letter law as some of them, and I’m not as good a writer as others.

But I’ve prepared the best I can, in the way that I felt was most helpful and sanity-preserving as was possible. I’m not completely comfortable with what I need to know for the test tomorrow, but I don’t think it’s possible to be 100% comfortable on exams like these. I’ve done the work through the semester and during the past few weeks that I thought I needed to. All that’s left is to go through and do it, with as little in the way of stress and anxiety as I possibly can. So I’ve taken it easy tonight. I’ve watched some videos, read some manga, had a good dinner, finished off a bottle of wine (don’t worry: it was a girly wine originally purchased for Her… which I suppose could be worrying in an entirely different way), and I’m going to try to sleep well tonight.

Wish me luck.

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