How to Teach the SAT to Cupertino-Area High School Students

Teacher: <Enter classroom>

Teacher: <Smile half-heartedly>

Teacher: Brief Greeting (Pathetically Desperate Attempt to Seem Young and Cool and Approachable)

Student: <Blank Stare> OR Non-Committal Sigh

Teacher: <Mental Re-Calculation; Self-Reminder of Age and Role>

T: Introductory Statement Regarding Class

S: <Blank Stare>

T: Query Regarding Previous Testing/Test Prep Experience

S: <Blank Stare>

T: Repetition of Testing Experience Query

S: Response in Affirmative

T: Query Regarding Current Score Status

S: <Looking Away>

S: <Low Voice> Random Number

T: <Nod> Query Regarding Expected/Intended Score

S: 2300+ / 2400

T: Query Regarding Comparative Influence of Parents RE: Intended Score VS Student Desire

S: <Non-Committal Shrug, Slight Sigh Indicating Parents>

T: <Resigned Facial Expression>

T: Prepared, Rote, Memorized Spiel Regarding Inaccuracy of SAT, Inapplicability of SAT to Intelligence, Ability, Competence, Affinity for College, Future Success, or Indeed Anything Aside from Measurement of Skill at Taking the SAT

S: <Slight Quickening of Interest, Ruthlessly Masked>

S: <Re-Assumes Blank Stare>

T: Query Regarding Student’s Ideal University

S: Response – Harvard/Stanford/Berkeley

T: Query Regarding Non-SAT/Non-GPA Related Aspects of Student’s Application

S: Response – Music

T: Query – Flute/Violin/Piano

S: <Slight Shock> Response in Affirmative

T: Revelation of Asian ancestry

S: <Real Shock, Expression of Disbelief>

T: Repetition of Query Regarding Expected/Intended Score

S: Repetition of 2300+ Response

T: <Mentally Checking Out> Speech on SAT Question Strategies

T: <Plays Bejeweled in Head>

S: <Plays Angry Birds in Head>

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This entry was posted in My Misspent No-Longer-Youth. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How to Teach the SAT to Cupertino-Area High School Students

  1. drachendor says:

    Very funny post, much of which rings true for teaching in general, not just for teaching the SAT.

  2. kulagirl says:

    Ha Ha!

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